Leading by Example Is the Price of Admission: Find Your Leadership Voice

If you spend time with young leaders like assistant coaches, new managers, or rising captains, you’ll often hear the same answer when you ask, “What kind of leader are you?”

“I lead by example.”

It’s a good instinct because people notice what you do much more than what you say. Your habits, discipline, and character set the tone, often before any speech or pep talk.

But here’s the truth most leaders don’t want to hear. Leading by example is the bare minimum standard; it’s the price of admission. Is it necessary? Yes. Is it sufficient? No.

When I started as a young Army officer in my first leadership role, many of the Soldiers in my platoon were older and had more experience than I did. I’ve always been the type to speak up only when I feel I have something important to add, and that’s still true today, though I’m less held back by Imposter Syndrome now. Back then, I was in charge; people expected me to lead, but I was hesitant. I realized I needed to rely on my strengths, my personality, and my communication style. I had to find my voice.

I see this same challenge in many of my clients, whether they are team captains, new assistant coaches, or recently promoted supervisors. They are also working to find their voice as leaders.

Many leaders hesitate to step forward and say things like, “I’m not a ‘rah-rah’ guy,” “I’m not super outgoing,” or “I’m not comfortable being vocal.” These comments often reveal uncertainty about what it means to lead and communicate authentically.

And that’s okay. Leadership isn’t limited to one personality type. You don’t have to be loud, charismatic, or outgoing to be effective. Leaders come from all kinds of temperaments, communication styles, strengths, and backgrounds. Still, to truly lead, you must go a step further.

But saying “I only lead by example” can be a way to avoid the harder work of growing as a leader.

Because leadership requires a voice. Your voice.

You don’t have to perform, fake hype, or pretend to be someone else. Authenticity is your credibility.

Still, you need to communicate and connect. You have to inspire, teach, challenge, and encourage others. Your ideas should move from your mind to the people you lead.

That means finding your leadership voice, which is your real way to influence others beyond just your actions.

This is the step many leaders miss. They think leadership is something you either have or you don’t. But leadership isn’t something you’re born with. It’s a set of skills, behaviors, and a commitment to keep growing. So how do you develop your leadership voice?

How a “Lead-By-Example Leader” Finds Their Voice

If you naturally lead by your actions, that’s a strong start. But to move ahead and really find your voice, you need to seek growth. Here’s how you can turn a quiet example into real influence:

1. Seek Self-Awareness

Before you find your voice, you need to understand yourself. What energizes you? What drains you? In what ways do you naturally communicate? How do others experience you?

Self-awareness gives you the blueprint for an authentic leadership voice—one that fits you, not someone else.

2. Define What You Stand For

Your people can’t follow what you haven’t defined. Once you know yourself, clearly state the standards, values, and priorities that guide your leadership. This forms the backbone of your voice, making it clear, consistent, and true to who you are.

3. Lean Into Hard Conversations

Leadership requires courage, especially when the topic isn’t easy. Address issues early, like expectations, accountability, and conflict, to protect your culture. Your voice is not just for encouragement; it’s also for honest correction.

4. Inspire in a Way That Fits You

Inspiration doesn’t have to be loud or theatrical. It must simply be real. Communicate using your strengths, such as clarity, encouragement, and steady purpose, and inspire others by being yourself.

5. Practice, Refine, and Repeat

Your leadership voice grows through practice. The more you use your voice genuinely and consistently, the stronger and clearer it becomes.

Finding your leadership voice isn’t about becoming someone you’re not—it’s about becoming more of who you already are. Your example sets the floor; your voice sets the ceiling. When you decide to speak with clarity, courage, and authenticity, you stop simply showing people the standard and start elevating them to meet it. That’s the moment you shift from being a good teammate to being a transformative leader. Your voice is not an accessory to leadership—it's the amplifier of your impact.